I BROKE ME

I stopped looking in the mirror,
There was no point.
I couldn’t see the beauty
That everyone else could see.
All I saw was a broken gaze
And an even more broken person
Staring back at me.

I stopped looking in the mirror,
Because my beauty was a fiction.
I couldn’t look at my perfectly shaped brows
Or my never receding hairline.
I couldn’t look at my nose;
That perfect, haughty nose
That reminded me of my mother.
My lips were full and luscious,
But I couldn’t see what every man saw
That made them want to kiss me.

My neck was slender,
Like the way the towers must have been
In Solomon’s palace.
I had the body of a goddess,
I was alluring and sexy
But I could never see it.
The only thing I could see
Were my eyes.

They were bottomless, endless
And full of every bad memory.
They reminded me of the blood.
Blood that was initially not mine,
But eventually became mine
Till it became the very essence of my nightmares.

I stopped looking in the mirror
Because it showed me my scars;
The scars on my erstwhile perfect skin.
Or maybe because it couldn’t show me
What I really wanted to see:
My scarred heart.

So I broke the mirror.
I broke it until all I could see
Was my reflection in the tiny pieces.
It felt good seeing different parts of my body
In tiny different pieces,
So I broke the mirror some more,
Until I broke me.

©Khrystalz